


Strange Allies with Warring Hearts

by tocourtdisaster



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: M/M, Mind Meld
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-05
Updated: 2011-07-05
Packaged: 2017-10-22 12:09:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/237862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tocourtdisaster/pseuds/tocourtdisaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock had told Jim of the emotional transference possible in a mind meld, but he did not expect for that transference to go both ways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strange Allies with Warring Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as a challenge to myself to turn the 'mind meld gave him feelings' trope on its ear, with Spock Prime being the one bombarded with Jim's feelings for McCoy. As such, I've taken the dialogue straight from the movie. The title of this comes from "The Space Between" by Dave Matthews Band.

It is strange, seeing his old friend made young again. In his own life, he had never known Jim Kirk at this age, but it is not difficult to recognize him. Though his eyes are not the same color that Spock remembers, his gaze has the same piercing quality of his own Jim.

"It is remarkably pleasing to see you again, old friend," Spock tells him once they've settled around his camp fire. He uses a stick to stir the logs while Jim looks on. "Especially after the events of today."

"Uh, sir," Jim begins to say and Spock finds it odd to have such formality directed at him from Jim Kirk. "I appreciate what you did for me today, but if you were Spock you would know we're not friends at all. You hate me. You marooned me here for mutiny."

"Mutiny?" Spock asks, and it occurs to him for the first time that this universe might not even slightly resemble the one from which he hails. He does not know yet what repercussions Nero's actions these past twenty-five years have wrought. He finds it oddly disconcerting to realize that he never once imagined the possibility that Nero's incursion could have changed reality so drastically.

"Yes," Jim sighs and Spock recognizes defeat in his tone, even if it is not an emotion he has often heard in Jim's voice.

"You are not the captain?" Spock asks, though he already knows the answer. This Jim Kirk is still a decade away from the time when he would receive command of the _Enterprise_ , meaning the ship is under the command of Christopher Pike. Still, though, Jim had said that Spock himself had marooned him here.

"No, no," Jim laughs, like it is not something he has ever considered. He points at Spock. "You're the captain. Pike was taken hostage."

"By Nero." Spock doesn't phrase it as a question because he knows it to be true.

"What do you know about him?" Jim asks, and there is the shrewdness in his manner that Spock has missed these many years.

"He is a particularly troubled Romulan," Spock says, knowing even as he says it that 'troubled' is not an accurate descriptor, but that he does not have the words to describe Nero's true nature. The only way to convey such information would be through a meld.

He stands and takes a step towards Jim. "Please, allow me. It will be easier," he says, reaching for the psi points on Jim's face. He does not expect Jim to recoil.

"Whoa, whoa," Jim says, stepping back to put space between them. It has been many, many years since Spock has been around humans for any lengthy period of time and longer still he has been around Jim Kirk, but it is still easy for him to see the apprehension and maybe even a trace of fear on Jim's face. "What are you doing?"

"Our minds," Spock says, holding his hand up, not letting himself feel hurt at Jim's lack of trust. He tells himself that it is only reasonable, seeing as this Jim Kirk as just met him. "Together and one."

Jim still looks apprehensive as Spock initiates the meld, though his eyes slip shut as Spock says, "One hundred twenty-nine years from now, a star will explode, and threaten to destroy the galaxy."

Spock has known for many years that each mind meld has emotional transference. He has experienced this event many times. It should not take him by surprise now.

Yet it does.

 _On a shuttle, seats filled with cadets in their regulation uniforms, only two men in civilian clothing. "McCoy. Leonard McCoy," the disheveled man next to him says, tipping his silver flask in Jim's direction and Jim feels that he's found a kindred spirit. There's a sense of impeding adventure and delight and the very smallest blossom of friendship._

 _In an Academy barracks, watching McCoy rifle through dresser drawers wearing nothing but a towel, his hair dripping water down his neck and back. There is desire and friendship and lust and an emotion that Jim rarely feels and never puts into words._

 _There is content in sitting on a couch next to McCoy, eating Andorian take-out and watching the Paresee squares championship on the vidscreen, arguing about whether that was a good call or if that move was legal._

 _There is guilt when in bed (or against the wall or on top of the desk or in an abandoned classroom) with Gaila, trying and failing not to think of Bones, feeling like the worst sort of person for using such an amazingly smart and talented woman in such a base way._

 _It's bittersweet watching Bones hold his daughter tight, longing and sadness warring with happiness for his friend. There's delight when Joanna throws her arms around his neck and says, "Bye, Uncle Jim. I love you." It's the first time he's been able to say those words to another person in many long years._

 _There is anger and fear and worry as_ Enterprise _exits warp above Vulcan and an overwhelming sense of accomplishment as he and Sulu disable Nero's drill and disbelief when Spock appears on the transporter pad, arm still outstretched towards where his mother should be._

 _Arguing with Spock, there is even more anger and fear for those in Nero's path: his mother, Bones's daughter, old friends and distant relatives on Earth unaware that a madman intent on their deaths headed their way. Can't Spock see that if he doesn't do_ something _, he won't be the only one onboard to lose their entire planet today?_

 _There's disappointment and insecurity as he makes his arguments and meets Bones's eye and can see that the other man isn't going to support him, that Bones isn't letting himself think of Joanna and the fact that Spock's inaction is going to get her killed today, that he_ can't _let himself think of that if he's still going to be a functional officer._

 _There's the feeling of opportunities lost when he wakes in the escape pod and realizes that_ Enterprise _and Bones are already beyond his reach. He wants to hope, wants to believe that he'll see Bones again and will be able to say all the things he's held back for years, but he can't, not when he can't see a way for them to survive facing off against Nero again._

 _He curses himself for being such an idiot and pulls himself from the pod, determined to do_ something _instead of just sitting around in self-loathing._

Spock is bombarded by Jim's memories even as he conveys the necessary information regarding Nero to the other man. Jim is crying when Spock breaks the meld, a sight Spock has rarely if ever seen, and he reels away, breathing heavily as though he has been running a marathon.

"Forgive me," Spock says, willing his voice to remain steady in the face of Jim's memories and his own concern for Earth and those aboard the _Enterprise_. "Emotional transference is an effect of the mind meld."

"So you do feel?" Jim asks.

"Yes," Spock answers simply. He would elaborate on how Vulcans feel emotions more strongly than humans, how they use logic to suppress those emotions, but still feel them all the same, but there is no time for such a discussion.

"Going back in time, you changed all our lives," Jim says and Spock feels the accusation as strongly as if his own Jim had said such a thing, but he cannot allow himself to dwell on the feeling of betrayal from Jim.

"Jim, we must go. There is a Starfleet outpost not far from here," Spock says instead of dwelling on the illogical sense of betrayal Jim is telegraphing through his body language. If Spock could change the events he'd inadvertently put into motion, he would, but dabbling with time travel is dangerous and not an endeavour he is eager to repeat.

Spock is already walking towards the cave entrance when Jim's voice stops him. "Wait!" Spock pauses and turns and after four seconds of silence, Jim continues. "Where you came from, did I know my father?" His voice cracks on the final word and Spock thinks back on the memories and emotional impressions he'd gotten from Jim and he realizes that in this life, George Kirk had died long enough ago that Jim has no memories of him, no emotional connection other than hero worship and banked feelings of anger.

"Yes," Spock says and thinks of his own mother and the visible pride she'd displayed at each of his accomplishments. "You often spoke of him as being your inspiration for joining Starfleet." Spock pauses briefly and wonders if he should continue, but the look on Jim's face convinces him. "He proudly lived to see you become Captain of the Enterprise."

"Captain?" Jim asks, though it is clear that he does not expect Spock to reply.

"A ship we must return you to as soon as possible," Spock says, turning and striding away. He pulls up the hood on his parka and fastens it around the lower portion of his face before he steps out into the storm. He does not wait for Jim, though he trusts that the man will follow him.

He is gratified when Jim appears at his side moments later, matching him stride for stride, just as Spock remembers from years past.

"And just how do you propose to get me back on a ship that's probably already halfway to the Laurentian system by now?" Jim asks, shouting to be heard over the wind.

"Patience, old friend," Spock replies. "All will be revealed in due time."

Jim scoffs, but doesn't ask any further questions. How remarkably like and unlike the Jim Kirk from Spock's past this man is. Spock had spent decades certain that Jim Kirk could never surprise him again.

How like the universe to prove him wrong in such a spectacular way.


End file.
